I have a lot of time on my hands right now and I keep telling myself to start a new writing project or even pick up an old one. Unfortunately, I have no new ideas and my old stories don’t seem worth the effort. I think boredom is to blame for my lack of inspiration. I’m usually at my creative best when I’m being challenged. I need a push. I need to be busy. My mind has nothing to work on currently, so the creative gears are not spinning very rapidly if at all.
I came to my blog today itching to write yet without a reason. Hopefully, this little complaint sent out to the great wide internet will gi e me something of a boost.
The only mildly exciting occurrence today was the rain. The weather map didn’t show clouds in my area but somehow, I am watching curtains outside my window. Rain is the perfect weather to write in. The soft patter is a soothing white noise that clears out distraction. The dull gray light is like a blanket, inviting me to stay indoors. Had I a story to work on, today would be the day to dive in.
I’ve had a lot of adventures recently and haven’t posted in a while. I’m most excited about the fact that I finally adopted a rabbit. I have been wanting one since September. This past Saturday, I went to the shelter and left with Pinto Bean, a white dwarf with grey eyes and ears. She is adorable and I absolutely love her.
The other day, Pinto learned how to jump. I let her roam around the kitchen for an hour or so everyday for exercise. She started doing these small twitchy hops that left me giggling. But it turns out she was practicing. Next thing I knew, she had leapt up onto a pot, which is a good two feet tall.
Now that she’s more comfortable at home, Pinto has taken to lounging in her cage, all spread out. I wonder if she’s hot.
As the rest of my life seems so uncertain and unexciting, I am glad to have accomplished one goal. I have a pet rabbit. She doesn’t solve all my problems. I still haven’t found a job. I still don’t know what my big life passion is. I still don’t know when I get to move. But I can experience the joy of providing love and a home for a pet. Hopefully, the rest of my goals will soon be checked off as well.
I’ve only taken one photo so far, so I apologize for the poor quality, but I felt like sharing.
My best friend and I attempted to cook homemade miso soup for dinner a couple of nights ago. We use banito flakes to make the broth. Banito flakes are dried bits of fish that looks like fish food. We added mushrooms, tofu, and seaweed. We also bought sushi to go with it. Overall, I think it turned out to be a good meal.
Today I graduated.
As I read the status updates of my fellow graduates, I feel I too have something to add to the conversation, though I’m not sure what. I don’t think the gravity of this life step has set in. I was present and in the moment the whole night, but it flew by. The flashes of cameras capture the choppy instantaneous energy of commencement in a way I can’t accurately describe. I will remember my undergraduate career in snapshots. Tonight felt like another pile to add to the collection.
All of my friends certainly made the experience worth while, but I felt oddly distant from them tonight. Perhaps I have preemptively parted from them in preparation for separation. The real issue could be that the journey ahead is one that only I can take. I don’t know who will be there or for what parts, but in the end, it’s my path. Fortunately, I think I know of a few people who are life companions.
To everyone who has shown love and support, I have nothing but love and gratitude. Their honesty has helped me learn more about who I am.
The road ahead is scary. I may fail, but as long as I try, I learn something.
I’ll be graduating with my bachelor’s degree in 10 days, which means right now, my life is full of lasts.
Yesterday night was my last martial arts class with the sensei I’ve been working with for a year and a half. I’ve learned two different forms from him and I love the way he teaches. He’s very good at explaining the application of techniques. In the time I’ve been doing martial arts, I’ve felt my confidence and self-worth grow. Where before I had nit-picky issues with my body, now I’m proud of how strong I am. I like the way I look and I feel that I’ve earned it. I want to continue studying martial arts the rest of my life, which will start with looking for a new teacher wherever I end up living.
Today was my last class as an undergraduate. It was an anticlimactic experience with no “goodbyes” or it was “great working with you.” I just left like any other day and came home to make lunch. Not everyone around me is graduating, so the end of the year most likely doesn’t have the same weight for them.
Next week I’ll have my last final, my last day at work, my last meal in town, my last night in my apartment, all leading up to my last walk through campus. As these things stack up, I feel my emotions shifting unpredictably. Sometimes I’m incredibly excited, looking forward to the adventures I will have. Sometimes I’m nostalgic. But the most important thing for me to remember is I will be alright. I’m starting a new chapter.